Secrets of the House of the Ignoble Sheriff

Author's Note

This is one of the tales that contains moral lessons. We are writing this story from the book The Tales of Mashdi Goline Khanom. The narration is presented as told by its source. At the beginning of the retelling, we include a sample of the tale's original prose style.

Once upon a time

There was once, and there was not, apart from God, no one existed. There was a merchant who had a wife. It was the 13th day of the Persian New Year (Sizdah Bedar), and they had gone out to celebrate. As they were returning home, a storm struck, so intense that you couldn’t see your hand in front of your face. In the chaos, a mother lost her child, a wife lost her husband, a sister lost her brother, and the merchant lost his wife.

When the merchant returned home, his wife had not yet arrived. He sent his servant to look for her. The servant searched everywhere but could not find the woman. However, he found some children who had lost their parents and were crying, so he brought them back to the merchant's house. The merchant said, "We will return these children to their homes tomorrow." They waited for the wife, but she did not appear.

But let us turn to the wife. When she lost her husband, she sat in the wilderness until the storm passed. Then she made her way to the city, but she had lost her way home. Crying and wailing, she wandered the streets and markets.

The city’s chief constable (Darogheh) saw her and asked why she was crying. She told him her story. The constable said, "Come to my house tonight, and tomorrow I’ll take you to your husband." Since the constable had a bad reputation, the woman was afraid to go to his house and insisted on being taken to her husband that same night. The constable said, "I’m offering you shelter out of compassion; otherwise, I could imprison you." The woman had no choice but to agree.

She had heard rumors that the constable brought twenty prostitutes, twenty pretty boys, and twenty barrels of wine to his house every night, and she feared he might harm her.

When she entered his house, she saw a large room with twenty women in it. Around the courtyard, there were a hundred small rooms.

At midnight, the constable returned home and said, "Serve dinner." Everyone was served dinner. Then he ordered the wine barrels to be brought and emptied into the courtyard well. Afterward, he sent each woman to a separate room and called his maid to sleep beside the merchant’s wife so she wouldn’t be afraid.

The constable ate his dinner and left the house. The merchant’s wife asked the maid about him. The maid said, "This is the constable’s way every night: he brings twenty prostitutes, twenty pretty boys, and twenty barrels of wine, empties the wine into the well, and sends the women and boys away in the morning, giving them money. He neither looks at the women nor touches the boys."

The next morning, the constable opened the rooms, served breakfast to the women and children, and sent them on their way. Then he escorted the merchant’s wife back to her husband’s home and went about his business.

When the merchant learned that his wife had spent the night at the constable’s house, he said, "A woman who spends a night at the constable’s house is not fit to be my wife." He took her and divorced her.

The woman cried and wandered through the market, lamenting her fate, when the constable saw her and recognized her. She explained what had happened. The constable said, "Go to the house of someone you know while I take care of this. I’ll make sure your husband comes looking for you himself."

The woman went to the home of a friendly neighbor. Meanwhile, the constable found a woman, gave her some money, and sent her to the merchant’s shop to flirt with him. If the merchant responded in kind, she was to make a scene and start yelling.

The woman did as instructed. When her screams echoed through the market, the constable rushed in, arrested the merchant, and threw him into his private jail.

From his cell, the merchant observed the arrival of prostitutes, pretty boys, and barrels of wine, just as his wife had described. Over three nights, he watched as the wine was poured into the well and the women and boys were sent away untouched.

On the fourth day, the constable came to release the merchant. The merchant said, "I won’t leave until you explain your actions."

The constable replied, "I do this so that twenty fewer beds are used for prostitution, twenty fewer acts of sodomy occur, and twenty fewer barrels of wine are consumed. This has been my routine, even though I know my reputation is terrible."

The merchant returned home, regretting his decision to divorce his wife. He realized the constable’s bad reputation was undeserved. He searched for his wife, found her, and remarried her.

یکی بود یکی نبود،‌ غیر از خدا هیچ کس نبود. یه تاجریبود، یه زنی داشت. اینا سیزده به در عید بود، رفتند سیزده به در. برگشتن که میومدند رو به خونه، هوا طيفان (طوفان) شد، به اندازه‌ای که چشم چشمو نمی‌دید. مادر بچه‌شو گم کرد، زن شوهرشو گم کرد،‌ خواهر برادرشو گم کرد. این مرد تاجرم زنشو گم کرد.» وقتی مرد تاجر به خانه رسید، زنش هنوز نیامده بود. نوکرش را فرستاد دنبال زن. نوکر هر چه گشت زن را نیافت. اما چند بچه را که پدر و مادر خود را گم کرده بودند و گریه می‌کردند، پیدا کرد و به خانه تاجر آورد. مرد تاجر گفت: فردا بچه‌ها را به خانه‌هایشان می‌رسانیم. هر چه منتظر زن شدند پیدایش نشد. اما بشنوید از زن. وقتی شوهرش را گم کرد در بیابان نشست تا طوفان تمام شد. بعد به شهر آمد. راه خانه را گم کرد و گریان و نالان در کوچه و بازار راه می‌رفت. داروغه او را دید و علت گریه‌اش را پرسید. زن ماجرا را گفت. داروغه گفت: امشب بیا به خانه من، تا فردا تو را به شوهرت برسانم. از آن جایی که اسم داروغه بد در رفته بود، زن می‌ترسید به خانه او برود و اصرار می‌کرد که همان شب پیش شوهرش برود. داروغه گفت: من رحمم آمده که به تو می‌گویم به خانه‌ام بیایی وگرنه باید حبست کنم. زن ناچار قبول کرد. او شنیده بود که داروغه هر شب بیست فاحشه، بیست بچه خوشگل و بیست کُپ شراب به خانه‌اش می‌برد و از این می‌ترسید که مبادا داروغه به او دست درازی کند. وقتی وارد خانه داروغه شد، اطاق بزرگی را دید که بیست زن در آن بودند. دور حیاط هم صد تا اتاق کوچک دید. نیمه‌های شب داروغه به خانه آمد و گفت شام بدهید. به همه شام دادند. بعد دستور داد کپ‌های شراب را بیاورند و در چاه حیاط بریزند. بعد هرکدام از زن‌ها را در اتاقی کرد. کلفت خود را صدا زد و به او گفت که پیش زن تاجر بخوابد تا او نترسد. داروغه شامش را خورد و از خانه بیرون رفت. زن تاجر از کلفت داروغه پرس و جو کرد. کلفت گفت این اخلاق داروغه است هر شب بیست تا فاحشه، بیست تا بچه خوشگل و بیست تا کپ شراب به خانه می‌آورد. شراب‌ها را در چاه می‌ریزد، زن‌ها و بچه‌ها را صبح بیرون می‌کند. به آنها پول هم می‌دهد هر شب کارش این است. نه به زن‌ها نگاه میکند و نه به بچه‌ها. صبح داروغه آمد و در اتاق‌ها را باز کرد و صبحانه بچه‌ها و زن‌ها را داد و گفت: بروید. بعد آمد سراغ زن تاجر. او را برد به خانه شوهرش. بعد هم رفت دنبال کارش. مرد تاجر که فهمید زن دیشب خانه داروغه بوده است به او گفت: زنی که شب خانه داروغه بخوابد به درد من نمیخورد. او را برد و طلاق داد. زن گریه و زاری میکرد و در بازار راه می‌رفت که داروغه او را دید و شناخت. زن ماجرا را برای او تعریف کرد. داروغه گفت تو برو به خانه یکی از آشنایانت تا من کاری کنم که مرد خودش بیاید دنبالت. زن رفت خانه همسایه‌اش که با او دوست بود. از آن طرف داروغه رفت و زنی را پیدا کرد. به او پولی داد تا به حجره مرد تاجر برود و با او شوخی کند. هر وقت تاجر هم با او شوخی کرد. داد و بیداد کند و فریاد بزند. زن چنان کرد وقتی فریاد زن بلند شد. داروغه خود را به آن‌جا رساند و مرد تاجر را به حبس برد. اطاق محبس در خانه داروغه بود. حاجی عصر که شد دید آمدن فاحشه‌ها شروع شد. بعد بچه خوشگلها آمدند و پشت سرشان هم کپهای شراب را آوردند. همه آن چیزهایی را که زن تاجر دیده بود تاجر هم دید. سه شب حاجی در محبس بود و هر سه شب دید شراب‌ها به چاه ریخته شد و کسی هم دست به زن ها و بچه ها نزد. روز چهارم داروغه آمد تا حاجی را آزاد کند. حاجی گفت: تا من علت این کارهای تو را نفهمم از این جا نمی‌روم. داروغه گفت: من این کارها را می‌کنم تا بیست رخت خواب زنا کمتر شود، بیست عمل لواط کمتر شود، بیست کپ شراب کمتر خورده شود. من همیشه کارم این است. با این که می دانم اسمم در میان مردم بد در رفته است. مرد تاجر آمد به منزل، از طلاق دادن زن خود پشیمان شده بود. فهمید که اسم داروغه بی‌جهت بد در رفته است. گشت و زن خود را پیدا کرد و بار دیگر او را به عقد خود درآورد.